Mothers Day in the U.S. is right around the corner. And then, right now schedule, a month later is Fathers Day. As a mother, these days are true treasures for me. Not because I am getting any attention-if you knew me, you know how much I don't like a big spotlight-however these two days are special due to the fact that as a nation, a majority of families will be getting together, eating a meal, and spending time together. I promise, most moms really just want that. And to see you in church with them is a bonus. Gifts are wonderful and they can range from homemade pasta creations to elaborate robot vacuums. However, usually around this time of the year I hear a phrase that comes up, and although I get what it means, I have a very different point of view.
This phrase is "Well, my spouse is not my (mother/father) so I don't have to get them anything." Okay. True. You are correct. Your spouse is not your parental unit. They are your spouse. I'm glad you can recognize it. Now, I am NOT saying to go out and buy your wife a robot vacuum or your husband a new grill. I want you to pause on that phrase and think for a moment at WHAT you are saying. Let me change the words around a little; "My spouse is not my parent so I do not have to honor him/her on this special day, consider what he/she does for our family and take time to say thanks." That sounds harsh. Disagree? Well, despite what your intentions are behind the first phrase, the second phrase is what you really mean. Now, thats not really nice, or southern. Coming from a southern girl, I don't like either phrases. There's also something else. How you treat your spouses position on special days like this set the tone and example for your children. Although I have told my girls, "Do as I say and not as I do" guess what? They still do as I do. I set the footprints for my daughters to follow in. How I treat my husband on a daily basis will show my daughters how to treat theirs. How I treat my parents, teaches my daughters how to treat me when they are older. If I brush off Fathers Day, and tell my girls, "Well, your daddy is your daddy, so you have to celebrate him." I am treating my husbands role as my daughters father less then what it is, extremely important. By doing so, I know my daughters will remember how I acted in the years to come and treat their husband and his role the same way. Do I want that? No. First, I want my daughters to respect and love their father. If I degrade his position or worth in the family, I am hurting the family as a whole. By showing my girls how to honor and love their father on Fathers Day sets the tone and example for how they will grow up and treat their father for years to come, everyday. The same for in-laws. By switching our spouse for in-laws you degrade your children grandparents position in their lives. Family is the most important unit on earth. When you start to treat people in your family like their role isn't important, you start to break down the unit. Now, toxic people, that's different. However, in a normal setting, a family is to honor one another and support one another. Rejoice together, laugh together, cry together, and lift one another up. In a marriage, when one person does not feel valued, both parties have a problem. Although Mothers Day or Fathers Day is not about honoring your spouse, it is a day to treat the role your spouse plays in the lives of your children very important. For some, it can be very validating that they somehow got something right along the road as a parent. Also, by supporting your spouse on their day, you show the love of Christ. I have yet to find anywhere in the Bible that Jesus did not honor his mother, or father. Think about that. Jesus' father was God. However there are no comments in the Bible when Jesus said "Only honor your mother/father if they ______" As a matter of fact, even Moses received the first 10 commandments and number five is to "Honor your mother and father." Now, as young children, learning how to honor is a hard thing to do, unless you have an example to follow. That example is not going to be a stranger off the street, its going to be you, and how you treat your spouse. So, by honoring your spouse, you also honor your parents by showing your children how to treat one another. Theres not a time when you magically stop, or "get off the hook". It's everyday, day in and day out. The more you practice it, the better you get.
So, Mothers Day. Fathers Day. Honor your spouses roll in your children's life. Set the example for your children on how to take a special day and honor your spouse. Buy a card! Say Thank You. Make a family meal together. Look at old pictures. Set time aside to play a game, or let the spouse pick what they would like to do for the afternoon/evening. Take time to honor your in-laws or other family members who may have been a parental figure in your life. Don't rush the time together. Make memories. Don't see Mothers Day or Fathers Day as a "have to" holiday. View it as a "get to honor you today" Because, at the end of the day, it's just one day, that is suppose to set the tone for the other 364 days of the year.
Friday, May 10, 2019
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Almost
I almost missed it. In the midst of Christmas, wanting for my final grade, Baileys birthday tomorrow and all the busy work that needs to be done, I almost missed my own milestone. I had successfully completed my first semester in college. How could I miss that? I had wanted to go for so long and I had dreamed of doing it and talking about it that when I started I dove head first and just kept swimming 😉. I swam past my first week, month, 2 month, the halfway point, and Thanksgiving. Focused on the next assignment, and what my To Do List said was next that I didn't even realize what I had accomplished till just now. Yup, 8:43 tonight. I, Summer N. Roderick, have gone from beginning to end of a full semester at college; AND PASSED! I have been so focused on my last 2 grades that I have not let myself realize what has been done. The Lord has kept me on this path, and He has most definitely sustained me. I very honestly was worried on August 28th if I was able to do this. Now I have signed up for more than double the credit hours for next semester. I joyfully celebrate all of my friends accomplishments and readily want them to know how far they have come. Now, I'm not trying to toot my own horn; however, how important is it to remember how far you have come yourself? I have grown so much in such a short amount of time that I do not recognize parts of myself. I feel as though I am more confident and sure of who I am. I am blessed to have such an amazing support system and wonderful family that this is beyond just me, this is a family accomplishment-we made it through mommy's first semester of school. Now, only a few more to go.
Please remember, that you have accomplished something too! Find it, celebrate it!
Please remember, that you have accomplished something too! Find it, celebrate it!
Saturday, October 14, 2017
A Unique Blessing
I laugh with the Lord. His humor in my life has been funny and I have learned to see it instead of getting frustrated, I laugh. My education career started like most other children, in Kindergarten. I don't remember that year though. I do, very vividly remember the next few years of my education. 1st through 3rd grade was in a private school paid for by my great grandmother and grandmother. All 3 grades were in the same classroom and it was wonderful. I had 2 teachers, Mrs Landrum was tall, and soft spoken. However my other teacher stood out. Her name is Mrs. Hagan. Now, she was a driven teacher, and made sure we were challenged in every area. However, there was one trait that everyone noticed. She has crutches. Not the kind from a hospital; the sturdy kind for everyday use. She was born with a condition called Spina Bifida. So, she had to use the crutches to get around. I still remember a lot from their classroom. We wrote a letter to the white house, we had a T board to review the previous days information, and there was another sister set in class with me and Samantha. I also remember telling Mrs. Hagan that thee and the were prounced differently because they were spelled differently. The look she gave me was both amused, and one of unbelief. I don't know what went through her mind, however the is no denying that I was right. She has since taught elementary children for years and now is at KSU assisting student t with skills to be successful in class and beyond the classroom.
I have recently started going to college. No, I am not going back, I am starting from them beginning. This semester I am taking college success along with reading. I was very nervous about going into a classroom where I would be the oldest, and one of the only ones with her own family. When I entered the classroom I noticed my professor was as tall as I am, and had an unusual physical trait about her. She explained that she has Tar Syndrome (Thrombocytopenia) and its where her radius bone is completely absent. Now she is a driven teacher, has taught her whole life, ironically to elementary children for years, and now as a professor in a college...
I find Gods humor in the fact that I have started both my primary and secondary education off with the same uniqueness. Both are women of the Lord, both have a unique physical trait that they had yet to let it set them back, and they had both become teachers. And I have had the pleasure of being instructed under both. Thats not a coincidence, and I don't believe in that. How in the world did 2 elementary teachers decide to switch things up and go into the college arena? I believe that both ladies have done way more than teach about reading, writing and arithmetic. They have taught that no one can hold you back, and there is not a goal you cannot reach. I want to thank both ladies for being such an instrument for God, and teaching everyone that you come into contact with that there is nothing you cannot reach for and get. Unless its a cartwheel, I think that they would both agree on that.
I have recently started going to college. No, I am not going back, I am starting from them beginning. This semester I am taking college success along with reading. I was very nervous about going into a classroom where I would be the oldest, and one of the only ones with her own family. When I entered the classroom I noticed my professor was as tall as I am, and had an unusual physical trait about her. She explained that she has Tar Syndrome (Thrombocytopenia) and its where her radius bone is completely absent. Now she is a driven teacher, has taught her whole life, ironically to elementary children for years, and now as a professor in a college...
I find Gods humor in the fact that I have started both my primary and secondary education off with the same uniqueness. Both are women of the Lord, both have a unique physical trait that they had yet to let it set them back, and they had both become teachers. And I have had the pleasure of being instructed under both. Thats not a coincidence, and I don't believe in that. How in the world did 2 elementary teachers decide to switch things up and go into the college arena? I believe that both ladies have done way more than teach about reading, writing and arithmetic. They have taught that no one can hold you back, and there is not a goal you cannot reach. I want to thank both ladies for being such an instrument for God, and teaching everyone that you come into contact with that there is nothing you cannot reach for and get. Unless its a cartwheel, I think that they would both agree on that.
Friday, August 25, 2017
Lighter Burdens
Sunday, March 19, 2017
Personal Thoughts on Beauty & the Beast
So, I know that I haven't written anything in a few years, however I have had a lot of questions on my personal thoughts on the new live action of Beauty and the Beast. So, there may be a few spoilers here, however this is my opinion.
For how the movie opens, it shows how Prince Adam-that is his name-becomes a Beast. And it goes a little deeper into the curse and how that affects everyone who lives in the castle. Knowing the curse already, the difference between the animated is how the curse and the sorceress come about. Remember, "the price was spoiled".
The movie also answers the question how did the beast and the castle be so close to the village and no one know about it? In the animated version Maurice stumbles upon the castle within a half days ride on horse. Same in the live action. I love how the movie answers this one question-how does the castle exist without the villagers knowing-it also answers the connection that the village has with the castle and those who live in it, and how Maurice comes across it. True Belle fans have several theories about how both the castle and the village co-existed. I love the way the live action went into this and made the connection so beautiful.
So, as far as Emma Watson playing Belle, I had my doubts. Seriously, I did!! However, not only did she do it beautifully, she was most definitely more true to character than I thought. She was very smooth and very true to how Belle should be. Belle was an outsider in the animated version and we don't know why, she is just labeled as different. That goes deeper in the live action movie, and I'm glad. I feel as though you get to know her better and you actually get to know the 14th century of France better, and how women were looked upon. In the trailers there where the opening song "Bonjour" is being sung, you see the boys going to school and if you will notice there are only boys going to school to be taught by a male teacher, and the girls and women of the village are washing clothes. Women that could read were looked down upon and made fun of. Women weren't worth educating back then beyond the expectation of cooking, cleaning and caring for the children. Men helped with any learning and homework that the boys may have. So, Belle knowing how to read and do "mens work" you see why she is an outsider, and what she has to put up with by being, basically, smarter.
Gaston. Well, he's Gaston. In the animated version, why he is so revered by the villagers is never explained. The live action does. Based upon a reference of war, and another reference of the black plague, I am guessing that the movie is based around 1780 or later. Belle is estimated to be about 18. Gaston is said to be in the war, and was a Captain-reference his red coat for that one. It also gets a little more into how much influence over the village he has. The live action also explains why Gaston wants Belle over any other girl in the village. It is quit humorous and something to think about.
When Maurice comes across the castle, it is apparent how long Belle expects her father to be gone.You also see how Maurice wants to honor his daughter and gets in trouble for wanting to keep a simple request. Other than the horse coming back without her father, its also past time for him to come back. She doesn't go looking for him just because the horse is barebacked. She goes because she knows something is beyond wrong. You see her take off and find the trail to the castle-which is also answered how the horse knew where to find the castle. True to the animated story line-almost moment by moment- the movie plays out beautifully. Belle finds the castle, encounters the beast and switched places with her father. There is more depth to this scene than the animated and I do believe that it is more beautiful and thoughtfully written out.
After this you see the Tavern scene and the Gaston song. Which is amazing! I loved it and was hoping it lived up to expectations that I wanted. It did and more. I loved it, so much. Lefou was hilarious and the beat was a little different, however, you shouldn't be disappointed at all. We also, true to the animated, see Maurice come into the tavern and ask for help rescuing Belle from the enchanted castle. I love how the next bit of the movie plays out with Maurice's character. His relationship with Gaston, and how Gaston reacts. I think that this vital part of their relationship is a major part missing from the animated. You see Maurice more as an inventor, then when his daughter is taken, you see him become more concerned about Belle. In the live action you see him more as a father concerned about his daughter, not just in this scene; throughout the whole movie. I love that twist.
Pretty much the whole middle of the movie plays out true to the animated movie, however there is depth in everything that happens. I was expecting a little more from the "Be Our Guest" number, however that is me and it is still beautiful and played out wonderfully.
Next comes the west wing scene, the wolves scene, and where she cares for him. True to the animated, even to the point that you could run some moments up against the animated and they play out second by second. However, there is more depth and a story line there. The library scene-which is a major favorite among Belle fans- is beyond hilarious and the movie visits it more than once. Which I am grateful for!!!!! Then comes a extra scene or 2 and it goes into depth about her mother and what is in Belles heart. Now, before you go and say its ________. Its not. The extra details are from the old storyline. As a matter of fact, the only thing-that I can remember- that is left out is the fact that Belle has 11 or 12 older sisters. Fun Fact!!!
The ballroom scene came before I knew it, and it is beautiful. I only wish it would have lasted longer. And, true to form, it followed the animated version so after that came the mirror scene. Prince Adam-AKA the Beast-gets a scene after Belle leaves and I think that he has always needed it. In the animated you don't get much on the Prince Adams heart transformation and much is assumed. Although I have never thought that in the animated version that him roaring was a great way to express your feelings. Also, when Belle leaves, its much more of a rush than in the animated. I mean, how did she get out of that dress without the rest of the household knowing what was going on?
The scenes that follow is much more practical about what would really happen as far as Maurice and Gaston. Belle lives up to her expectations as far as standing up for herself and her father. A lot of the lines in the animated version are also in the live action, so you should be pleased when they repeat a lot of that in these scenes. There is still a lot of the villagers fight scene that come over from the animated, however there are some pleasant surprises that happen that make you think, did I hear that right? Well, you did, and it will be important to the end!! I loved it, just because they took every detail and knit it all back together.
Overall the movie was funny, and beautiful. The details and the intricacy of the sets are stunning. Yes, I looked. The dancing is one to be admired-watch their footwork-and so precise. With that, a few things to watch. Both versions show Prince Adam as more of an animal when Maurice and Belle meet him. Watch as he transforms to be more human like in not only how he carries himself, and how his face transforms. Its on purpose. There is a beautiful moment in the live action where you see Prince Adam and Belle walking and they look out over a lake. Really look at the lake. Its going through a transformation. Just like someone else. Human Again is not really in the movie, however they do reference it several times. And watch the transformation of the "Antiques" as Cogsworth says. They seem to also go from less objects to more human-like too. Again, on purpose.
So, one question; or technicality, I have always had from the animated was how did everyone transform AFTER the last petal fell and the rose stem died?!?! Guess what? It is answered-and oh so eloquently-in the live action. I honestly loved this ending better than the animated. It didn't just end. It knit details back together.
The scenes that everyone is making a big deal are not as big of deal as they are saying. Kids wouldn't know what they are seeing, and adults can even not notice one of the 2 scenes! So, as far as it being a totally gay moment, nope. Sorry. It looks more like someone wanted that in the movie and they added it in a the last minute. Yes, they went to the effort, however, it wasn't worth throwing a fit over. At least in my opinion.
So, inclusion, it was everything I wanted it to be and more. I could see it again and again. I will be pre-ordering this from Disney Store and enjoying it. I won't be taking my girls to see it in theaters because of how large the screen and how life like the wolves and jumpy scenes are. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. Have a great night!!
Summer
For how the movie opens, it shows how Prince Adam-that is his name-becomes a Beast. And it goes a little deeper into the curse and how that affects everyone who lives in the castle. Knowing the curse already, the difference between the animated is how the curse and the sorceress come about. Remember, "the price was spoiled".
The movie also answers the question how did the beast and the castle be so close to the village and no one know about it? In the animated version Maurice stumbles upon the castle within a half days ride on horse. Same in the live action. I love how the movie answers this one question-how does the castle exist without the villagers knowing-it also answers the connection that the village has with the castle and those who live in it, and how Maurice comes across it. True Belle fans have several theories about how both the castle and the village co-existed. I love the way the live action went into this and made the connection so beautiful.
So, as far as Emma Watson playing Belle, I had my doubts. Seriously, I did!! However, not only did she do it beautifully, she was most definitely more true to character than I thought. She was very smooth and very true to how Belle should be. Belle was an outsider in the animated version and we don't know why, she is just labeled as different. That goes deeper in the live action movie, and I'm glad. I feel as though you get to know her better and you actually get to know the 14th century of France better, and how women were looked upon. In the trailers there where the opening song "Bonjour" is being sung, you see the boys going to school and if you will notice there are only boys going to school to be taught by a male teacher, and the girls and women of the village are washing clothes. Women that could read were looked down upon and made fun of. Women weren't worth educating back then beyond the expectation of cooking, cleaning and caring for the children. Men helped with any learning and homework that the boys may have. So, Belle knowing how to read and do "mens work" you see why she is an outsider, and what she has to put up with by being, basically, smarter.
Gaston. Well, he's Gaston. In the animated version, why he is so revered by the villagers is never explained. The live action does. Based upon a reference of war, and another reference of the black plague, I am guessing that the movie is based around 1780 or later. Belle is estimated to be about 18. Gaston is said to be in the war, and was a Captain-reference his red coat for that one. It also gets a little more into how much influence over the village he has. The live action also explains why Gaston wants Belle over any other girl in the village. It is quit humorous and something to think about.
When Maurice comes across the castle, it is apparent how long Belle expects her father to be gone.You also see how Maurice wants to honor his daughter and gets in trouble for wanting to keep a simple request. Other than the horse coming back without her father, its also past time for him to come back. She doesn't go looking for him just because the horse is barebacked. She goes because she knows something is beyond wrong. You see her take off and find the trail to the castle-which is also answered how the horse knew where to find the castle. True to the animated story line-almost moment by moment- the movie plays out beautifully. Belle finds the castle, encounters the beast and switched places with her father. There is more depth to this scene than the animated and I do believe that it is more beautiful and thoughtfully written out.
After this you see the Tavern scene and the Gaston song. Which is amazing! I loved it and was hoping it lived up to expectations that I wanted. It did and more. I loved it, so much. Lefou was hilarious and the beat was a little different, however, you shouldn't be disappointed at all. We also, true to the animated, see Maurice come into the tavern and ask for help rescuing Belle from the enchanted castle. I love how the next bit of the movie plays out with Maurice's character. His relationship with Gaston, and how Gaston reacts. I think that this vital part of their relationship is a major part missing from the animated. You see Maurice more as an inventor, then when his daughter is taken, you see him become more concerned about Belle. In the live action you see him more as a father concerned about his daughter, not just in this scene; throughout the whole movie. I love that twist.
Pretty much the whole middle of the movie plays out true to the animated movie, however there is depth in everything that happens. I was expecting a little more from the "Be Our Guest" number, however that is me and it is still beautiful and played out wonderfully.
Next comes the west wing scene, the wolves scene, and where she cares for him. True to the animated, even to the point that you could run some moments up against the animated and they play out second by second. However, there is more depth and a story line there. The library scene-which is a major favorite among Belle fans- is beyond hilarious and the movie visits it more than once. Which I am grateful for!!!!! Then comes a extra scene or 2 and it goes into depth about her mother and what is in Belles heart. Now, before you go and say its ________. Its not. The extra details are from the old storyline. As a matter of fact, the only thing-that I can remember- that is left out is the fact that Belle has 11 or 12 older sisters. Fun Fact!!!
The ballroom scene came before I knew it, and it is beautiful. I only wish it would have lasted longer. And, true to form, it followed the animated version so after that came the mirror scene. Prince Adam-AKA the Beast-gets a scene after Belle leaves and I think that he has always needed it. In the animated you don't get much on the Prince Adams heart transformation and much is assumed. Although I have never thought that in the animated version that him roaring was a great way to express your feelings. Also, when Belle leaves, its much more of a rush than in the animated. I mean, how did she get out of that dress without the rest of the household knowing what was going on?
The scenes that follow is much more practical about what would really happen as far as Maurice and Gaston. Belle lives up to her expectations as far as standing up for herself and her father. A lot of the lines in the animated version are also in the live action, so you should be pleased when they repeat a lot of that in these scenes. There is still a lot of the villagers fight scene that come over from the animated, however there are some pleasant surprises that happen that make you think, did I hear that right? Well, you did, and it will be important to the end!! I loved it, just because they took every detail and knit it all back together.
Overall the movie was funny, and beautiful. The details and the intricacy of the sets are stunning. Yes, I looked. The dancing is one to be admired-watch their footwork-and so precise. With that, a few things to watch. Both versions show Prince Adam as more of an animal when Maurice and Belle meet him. Watch as he transforms to be more human like in not only how he carries himself, and how his face transforms. Its on purpose. There is a beautiful moment in the live action where you see Prince Adam and Belle walking and they look out over a lake. Really look at the lake. Its going through a transformation. Just like someone else. Human Again is not really in the movie, however they do reference it several times. And watch the transformation of the "Antiques" as Cogsworth says. They seem to also go from less objects to more human-like too. Again, on purpose.
So, one question; or technicality, I have always had from the animated was how did everyone transform AFTER the last petal fell and the rose stem died?!?! Guess what? It is answered-and oh so eloquently-in the live action. I honestly loved this ending better than the animated. It didn't just end. It knit details back together.
The scenes that everyone is making a big deal are not as big of deal as they are saying. Kids wouldn't know what they are seeing, and adults can even not notice one of the 2 scenes! So, as far as it being a totally gay moment, nope. Sorry. It looks more like someone wanted that in the movie and they added it in a the last minute. Yes, they went to the effort, however, it wasn't worth throwing a fit over. At least in my opinion.
So, inclusion, it was everything I wanted it to be and more. I could see it again and again. I will be pre-ordering this from Disney Store and enjoying it. I won't be taking my girls to see it in theaters because of how large the screen and how life like the wolves and jumpy scenes are. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. Have a great night!!
Summer
Saturday, July 6, 2013
For New Moms
As I am a current mom, and God has blessed me to become a mom again, its hard not to think about the differences that are I am experiencing between the 2 pregnancies. The first one was full of people giving me advise. This one, not so much. I remember how much advise everyone wanted to bestow on me with my first pregnancy and have remembered some pointers that I wish I had known, and some advise I wish someone had told me. So, this isn't really advise on how to or not to do anything, really. Its more on a way to do it.
Enjoy!! If your not heaving sick, or having to be hospitalized, please enjoy being pregnant. Compared to your life span, and everything else that you will live through, these short months of being pregnant are wonderful. Hey, there's a reason why guys aren't pregnant and we are. Enjoy the kicks, hiccups and movements-when they don't hurt. If your comfortable, let your hubby, mom, dad or other very close family members feel the little miracle too. It made it more real to my husband when he feels our little one(s) kick him. Its a special little moment. Don't let this pass. The baby will be here soon enough, so enjoy these short few months.
Relax. Okay, Eve had no help giving birth to her kids, so I think we are blessed, no matter how you decide to bring your child into the world, that we have some help. Whatever your choice is, talk about it with those who you trust, and who will be there. If your doctor gives you a green light, go for it. It may not be the same decision as someone else, and that's fine. You have to live through it, so do it the way you feel comfortable. In the end, you and the baby just need to be healthy and safe. That's all that matters.
Find Common Ground. Okay, so EVERYONE has an opinion on, well, EVERYTHING. Especially raising children. Guess what? That's great! Here's my advise; find a couple who has the results your looking for, and talk to them. Yes, everyone on the planet will give you advise. Yes, you will disagree with it. No, you do not have to do what everyone else has done. My husband and I had so many people give us their heartfelt advise. We would talk about it, see if it worked for our family, and then decide if we should follow it or not. One of my friends from high school does babywearing. That's great! For her. I didn't think I should. Another friend did formula feeding, and another did strictly breast-attachment feeding. I pumped. That's what worked for our family, and that's what I felt comfortable doing. Am I a bad mother for doing it that way? I don't think so. And neither do my friends. My husband and I liked the idea of a schedule from day one. Another friend hasn't had her kids on a schedule at all. Oh well. I just found people who did what my husband and I though worked for our family, talked to them, got advise from them, and ran with it. If something doesn't work, figure out why, and adjust or change all together. Your not a bad parent for doing so, and every child is different. Work with the child.
Mistakes Happen. Guess What? Your going to make mistakes. So, fix them and move on. I have seen-and I have too-beaten myself up over the smallest thing that I did wrong. Really? Did beating myself up help in any way? Nope, it was just a one person beat-up-on-myself party. Guess what? My child-and I thankfully!-lived through it. I learned, and we have moved on. Remember, at the end of the day you and the baby's health is all that matters. So what if the dishes are piled up in the sink? Or if the trash needs to be taken out? Can you do those things tomorrow? Yup, just figure out how, and get some rest. Being a new mom is tiring. So, let things go a little longer than usual. You have friends who will come over and clean your kitchen, promise. If you put it on facebook, see how many people respond. Family can help too.
Say Yes To (Some) Help Okay, to pick up from the last point, its okay to say yes to help. People will come and help you do almost anything as a new mom of __ kid(s). Use your judgment however, and let people do what your comfortable with. If someone offers to help with one thing, and you need another, ask. I had so many people who wanted to hold my newborn. I really wasn't comfortable with that, however I asked if they could, load the dishwasher, or pick up a few things from the store next time they went. People-especially women-love to help. Let those who are helpers, help. Its a way for them to bless you.
Find Your Rock. Well, this is touchy, however, I'm going to try this one with grace. Find your rock. In everyone's life there is a rock of foundation for them. Religion is usually the biggest one. So, whatever your faith based religion is, find a steadiness in it. I may not agree with your faith, however, that's you and your families decision. Go to your house of worship, find friends there. If you don't have family living near by, your faith based friends should become like family. Outside of ones family, usually the faith based friends are like family and support you just as much. They also are the biggest source of information too.
DO's & DON'T's Well, there are some absolutes that no matter who you are, they should be on the list.
Do's -Love your child. Hey, they are yours. And they will drive you absolutely nuts. Promise. However, there are moment-more often than the bad ones-that you will enjoy being a parent.
-When you take pictures, organize them. I SO wish someone had told me this. I have so many that I have not a clue when they where taken, and wish I had tackled organizing them when my child was born. I do mine by month & year. Do whatever works for you, I just STRONGLY advise that you do it. You'll thank me later. And back them up.
-Do what is best for you & your child. You and your child's health is the most important thing right now. Listen to your doctor, and pediatrician. If they give you the green light, run with it. You are seeing them, so you should trust them. if you don't trust them, find someone who you feel you can.
Don'ts -This is a personal don't, however, I feel as though everyone should at least highly consider it: don't take advise from non-parents. Here's my reason why; if you haven't LIVED through it, how you really know what to do? I apply that philosophy to every advise I give. Second hand doesn't work either. If they haven't lived through it, then its just good intent. There's something about having to live through a situation and having to look at all the options and decision that have to be made that just an opinion or second hand advise can't give. So, a non-parent telling you what their parent friends did in the same situation, might not get the right message across. Try to talk to the source. You may need to come back to them later, or ask questions that the non-parent can't answer.
-Don't go crazy. Overwhelmed is fine. Crazy is not. Your going to-at one point or another- going to feel overwhelmed. That's fine. Find help. Or a friend that you can vent to at least. Venting helps. Not gossip. Venting. Yes, there is a difference. Sometimes we just need to get things off our chest. So, do it in a safe environment, and please try not to belittle someone. They may have had the best of intentions at heart. And if your a support person for a lady who is pregnant, please be positive. There is a lot of negative things that you would never know that are being said to her. Family should be the biggest, positive, influence on a lady who is going through this time. Especially if its the lady's first time being pregnant. Yes, her life, and those lives around her, are going to change. That's a given. Support her. Be a cheerleader. Let her talk, and vent, without being critical or giving advise. Sometimes she just may want to vent. If she wants advise, she will ask. Family is the biggest influence in anyone's life, and when family isn't being supportive, then it makes it really hard for that one person to see the good in their situation. I have known so many people who have tried for years to have a child, and they finally conceive, only for their family to say rude and demeaning things. Yes, the couple will find out what life is like with a child, and yes their life is going to change. That's a given. However, don't you think they wanted it to? Especially those couples who have tried for any amount time. They wanted that change. Support them. It makes for better Christmases.
I know that there are other things that I will think of down the road. However, they should fall into one of these pointers. I hope this helps someone out there. Let me know what you think.
Enjoy!! If your not heaving sick, or having to be hospitalized, please enjoy being pregnant. Compared to your life span, and everything else that you will live through, these short months of being pregnant are wonderful. Hey, there's a reason why guys aren't pregnant and we are. Enjoy the kicks, hiccups and movements-when they don't hurt. If your comfortable, let your hubby, mom, dad or other very close family members feel the little miracle too. It made it more real to my husband when he feels our little one(s) kick him. Its a special little moment. Don't let this pass. The baby will be here soon enough, so enjoy these short few months.
Relax. Okay, Eve had no help giving birth to her kids, so I think we are blessed, no matter how you decide to bring your child into the world, that we have some help. Whatever your choice is, talk about it with those who you trust, and who will be there. If your doctor gives you a green light, go for it. It may not be the same decision as someone else, and that's fine. You have to live through it, so do it the way you feel comfortable. In the end, you and the baby just need to be healthy and safe. That's all that matters.
Find Common Ground. Okay, so EVERYONE has an opinion on, well, EVERYTHING. Especially raising children. Guess what? That's great! Here's my advise; find a couple who has the results your looking for, and talk to them. Yes, everyone on the planet will give you advise. Yes, you will disagree with it. No, you do not have to do what everyone else has done. My husband and I had so many people give us their heartfelt advise. We would talk about it, see if it worked for our family, and then decide if we should follow it or not. One of my friends from high school does babywearing. That's great! For her. I didn't think I should. Another friend did formula feeding, and another did strictly breast-attachment feeding. I pumped. That's what worked for our family, and that's what I felt comfortable doing. Am I a bad mother for doing it that way? I don't think so. And neither do my friends. My husband and I liked the idea of a schedule from day one. Another friend hasn't had her kids on a schedule at all. Oh well. I just found people who did what my husband and I though worked for our family, talked to them, got advise from them, and ran with it. If something doesn't work, figure out why, and adjust or change all together. Your not a bad parent for doing so, and every child is different. Work with the child.
Mistakes Happen. Guess What? Your going to make mistakes. So, fix them and move on. I have seen-and I have too-beaten myself up over the smallest thing that I did wrong. Really? Did beating myself up help in any way? Nope, it was just a one person beat-up-on-myself party. Guess what? My child-and I thankfully!-lived through it. I learned, and we have moved on. Remember, at the end of the day you and the baby's health is all that matters. So what if the dishes are piled up in the sink? Or if the trash needs to be taken out? Can you do those things tomorrow? Yup, just figure out how, and get some rest. Being a new mom is tiring. So, let things go a little longer than usual. You have friends who will come over and clean your kitchen, promise. If you put it on facebook, see how many people respond. Family can help too.
Say Yes To (Some) Help Okay, to pick up from the last point, its okay to say yes to help. People will come and help you do almost anything as a new mom of __ kid(s). Use your judgment however, and let people do what your comfortable with. If someone offers to help with one thing, and you need another, ask. I had so many people who wanted to hold my newborn. I really wasn't comfortable with that, however I asked if they could, load the dishwasher, or pick up a few things from the store next time they went. People-especially women-love to help. Let those who are helpers, help. Its a way for them to bless you.
Find Your Rock. Well, this is touchy, however, I'm going to try this one with grace. Find your rock. In everyone's life there is a rock of foundation for them. Religion is usually the biggest one. So, whatever your faith based religion is, find a steadiness in it. I may not agree with your faith, however, that's you and your families decision. Go to your house of worship, find friends there. If you don't have family living near by, your faith based friends should become like family. Outside of ones family, usually the faith based friends are like family and support you just as much. They also are the biggest source of information too.
DO's & DON'T's Well, there are some absolutes that no matter who you are, they should be on the list.
Do's -Love your child. Hey, they are yours. And they will drive you absolutely nuts. Promise. However, there are moment-more often than the bad ones-that you will enjoy being a parent.
-When you take pictures, organize them. I SO wish someone had told me this. I have so many that I have not a clue when they where taken, and wish I had tackled organizing them when my child was born. I do mine by month & year. Do whatever works for you, I just STRONGLY advise that you do it. You'll thank me later. And back them up.
-Do what is best for you & your child. You and your child's health is the most important thing right now. Listen to your doctor, and pediatrician. If they give you the green light, run with it. You are seeing them, so you should trust them. if you don't trust them, find someone who you feel you can.
Don'ts -This is a personal don't, however, I feel as though everyone should at least highly consider it: don't take advise from non-parents. Here's my reason why; if you haven't LIVED through it, how you really know what to do? I apply that philosophy to every advise I give. Second hand doesn't work either. If they haven't lived through it, then its just good intent. There's something about having to live through a situation and having to look at all the options and decision that have to be made that just an opinion or second hand advise can't give. So, a non-parent telling you what their parent friends did in the same situation, might not get the right message across. Try to talk to the source. You may need to come back to them later, or ask questions that the non-parent can't answer.
-Don't go crazy. Overwhelmed is fine. Crazy is not. Your going to-at one point or another- going to feel overwhelmed. That's fine. Find help. Or a friend that you can vent to at least. Venting helps. Not gossip. Venting. Yes, there is a difference. Sometimes we just need to get things off our chest. So, do it in a safe environment, and please try not to belittle someone. They may have had the best of intentions at heart. And if your a support person for a lady who is pregnant, please be positive. There is a lot of negative things that you would never know that are being said to her. Family should be the biggest, positive, influence on a lady who is going through this time. Especially if its the lady's first time being pregnant. Yes, her life, and those lives around her, are going to change. That's a given. Support her. Be a cheerleader. Let her talk, and vent, without being critical or giving advise. Sometimes she just may want to vent. If she wants advise, she will ask. Family is the biggest influence in anyone's life, and when family isn't being supportive, then it makes it really hard for that one person to see the good in their situation. I have known so many people who have tried for years to have a child, and they finally conceive, only for their family to say rude and demeaning things. Yes, the couple will find out what life is like with a child, and yes their life is going to change. That's a given. However, don't you think they wanted it to? Especially those couples who have tried for any amount time. They wanted that change. Support them. It makes for better Christmases.
I know that there are other things that I will think of down the road. However, they should fall into one of these pointers. I hope this helps someone out there. Let me know what you think.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Thoughts & Companies
I have been praying over some things that have been on my heart. Life has its up and downs. I don't watch the news, and for good reason, it frustrates me. There are to many negative things that go on. However, it seems to seep into twitter, Facebook and daily conversations that its hard not to avoid. I have watched the ups and downs of company's through my short life. Chick Fil A and one other company-which will remain nameless-have been on the front pages for decisions that upper management has made. Yes, it has caused people to become divided. So, as a lady who has been in retail, please let me shed some light.
So lets do it in the kinesthetic way. So, you hear about company A and they support over seas production, and they under pay the employees in the factories. You don't like that, so you, and 100,000 other people decide to stop shopping at company A. And then you all start encouraging people around you to stop shopping there too. Within 6 months 1,000,000 people have stopped shopping there. The company's sales have dropped, and they have had to lay off 50 local people. How is that helping? Those people where paying bills, and supporting their family's, and now, they are let go and are left to finding another job, in hard times. How is that helping? The foreign workers weren't let go, local workers where. It's not helping. What if those workers didn't agree with the overseas production either? However, they are working to support their family's.
By deciding to not shop with a company due to what the news put on the front page, your hurting more than the major company. Your hurting the local people. When a company sees a stores sales drop, they start to consider shutting down the store. I have been a part of that and if there aren't enough stores around to absorbe the employees, some of them are left to find employment on their own. In most cases, the employees don't find immidete employment. How does that help? It doesn't. And it won't. Yes, support small businesses, that's great-I have one and know several people who do. Yes, it's easier to find and agree with small businesses. However, when you need to go to a larger, corporate business, don't throw a fit. Even though you are shopping at Wal-Mart, or Target, your still shopping local. Local employees, local and customized product, and sometimes local products. Your not going to agree with EVERYTHING a company does. I promise. If you dig deep enough, you will find plenty that you don't like about several companies. The question that you need to ask yourself is if its worth it. Is it worth a friend or family member loosing their job over what you believe. No, what some companies do is not right. Is it ever? However, do you think shutting down one store, or even the whole company is going to help? Another company will take its place. And then it starts all over again. When will it stop? When we are in heaven. It's a battle that we have to fight daily. With God helping us navigate through it all. Sometimes we are put in these decisions to help those who are working for those company's. I'm not saying we can't make a difference. We can. We help with the employees. We lead them. Sometimes enough people internally is what the company needs. Company's listen to customers. They listen to employees too. Hey, think about it. If you didn't like something at work, would it have more weight coming for you and some co workers, or a customer? Employees know what the company is wanting to accomplish, and they can get direction within. We can work together, however protests, and yelling doesn't work. Did it work as a kid with your patents? Think it works now? I love you all, and just want you to think about what you say before you say it. There is more at risk than what you think. Think about those working for the company. They may not like what's going on either. Is it their fault? Nope. Don't blame them. Be a friend. Talk to them. You'd be surprised. Remember the Hobby Lobby situation? The employees may or may not agree with what's going on, however we as a community should embrace the company's in the headlines, and understand that the local workers are going to get enough backlash that weas christians don't need to add to it. Okay, I think I've said enough.
Good night all. And God Bless.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)